If you're ever run over by a car...

...or must stay in the hospital for more than two days, read this!

It would be a shame if I didn't pass on some of the things I learned about staying in the hospital. I was in the ICU for three days, and in the hospital for a total of one week. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it is plenty long enough for me to know the following:

First, if showering isn't an option, you're going to be pretty miserable. Sponge baths just really don't cut it, especially since nurses (I loved most of them, by the way. Especially my ICU nurse Sarah. She was part of an agency that goes around the country and works wherever there is a position open. It's a great way to travel, and they covered her housing. Doesn't that sound like a great job for a single, cute, young, girl? I would definitely look into that if I was single, cute, or young. The other great nurse was named Jessica. She was awesome.) are limited to the supplies provided by the hospital. Nasty greasy lotion. Gross, smelly, drying soap. Rough washcloths designed for deep exfoliation. And what is the obsession with baby powder? I guess I'm just a sweater (as in, "one who sweats", not as in "an article of clothing worn during chilly weather, often made of wool or synthetic fibers") so I really didn't need the paste that forms from that nonsense. Seriously, it's gross. So tell your nurse "no" on the baby powder in advance, and have your husband bring in your favorite body wash and a soft cloth so you don't turn into an itching, sweating, *irritated mess.

Which brings me to two of the best things that you could ever bring a friend who is in the hospital. I received both from very special people. The first came from my sister's mother-in-law who lives here in town sometimes and Egypt others. Her name is Linda, and she just lost her young grandson to brain cancer. It was difficult for her to come visit me in the hospital. I was grateful that she came. She brought a nice card, and even better, a tube of chap stick. (It was actually "Moose-stick", but you get the idea. It was really cute and a nice product!) It was a very thoughtful gift, as I couldn't have flowers in the ICU, and who wants to keep slathering on the generic petroleum jelly?

The second was from my friend, Katie. She has spent MORE than her fair share in the hospital. She was there for MONTHS with her last baby, so she knows the routine, how to deal with cranky nurses (I was pretty lucky that way, although I have to admit I wasn't fond of my night nurse in the ICU. That's only because she kept making me rotate of my back and sleep slightly on my side, which was killer on the ribs and shoulders. More on shoulders in the next post.), uncomfortable positioning, trouble sleeping, bad soap, you name it. She also was fully aware that I have the world's most sensitive skin (She also has said sensitive skin), and on the spur of the moment came through with a travel sized tube of Lubriderm out of her purse. Hallelujah! My body just sucked it in, and finally there was no greasy feel or horrible stench. (Well, not from the lotion. I'm sure I was emmitting a fairly foul odor by that time...) So if you are out of ideas for a friend in the hospital, I recommend Chap Stick and Lubriderm.

Another great gift I got was from one of the young women at church. Kaylin made me a pillow that had DUCKY FLEECE on it! It was great, because it was the right size and firmness to rest my arms on. I'm still using it. A lap pillow is a great gift for someone in the hospital.

The other important thing I learned was that they do offer linens with no bleach. I thought that sitting in a bed itching and raw was just a side effect of medication (which it partially is), but my new bnf (best nurse friend) Sarah offered the no-bleach. I said fine, not thinking it would really matter, but HOLY COW!! It made a huge difference. They must use about 3 1/2 cups of bleach per medium sized load, because the non-bleachy sheets were....I'm not lying...soft. Can you believe it? So, just remember, if you need to lay in a hospital bed, ask for the no bleach package. It's worth the trouble.

These things may seem trivial, but trust me. When dealing with that sort of pain, the last thing you need is to feel like your skin is going to fall off!

I was sweating up a storm on my bike and then I got run over by a car.

*refers to both skin and temperment